How to talk to the kids about the divorce

On Behalf of | Jun 26, 2020 | Divorce

Divorce is an emotionally stressful time in your life. Even if you and your ex-spouse are separating on friendly terms, it doesn’t always make everything easier. And when you have children involved, it can be an even more painful situation.

As a parent, you want to focus on your child’s safety, happiness and well-being. But divorce can turn your lives upside down. How can you keep your children’s spirits up during such a stressful experience?

The following tips can help parents make divorce easier on their children:

  • Stick to the truth. When talking to your kids about divorce, there’s no need to get into the nitty-gritty details. Instead, keep it simple and honest, with easy to understand explanations such as “We don’t love each other anymore.”
  • Remind your kids that divorce is not their fault. Children can sometimes feel like they caused their parents’ divorce, and it’s essential to reassure your kids that this is not the case. Tell them that you still love them, and divorce won’t ever change that.
  • Prepare them for changes. While your feelings for your child will never change, other things might. Divorce will affect different parts of your child’s life, and it’s important to acknowledge that from the beginning. Kids might wonder about things like “Who will help me with my homework?” or “Who will pick me up from school?” You can address these situations honestly, admitting that you might not know right now, but you will figure it out together.
  • Don’t argue in front of your kids. The best way to help your kids through a divorce is to present a united front with your ex. Instead of fighting, keep your focus on your children when you’re together and do your best to stay civil. A friendly partnership will make your kids feel more comfortable and willing to accept the new changes.
  • Stick to regular routines. Kids can thrive on familiar schedules and may look toward those daily routines to feel safe during an uncertain time. As things change, do your best to minimize the disruption to your child’s day-to-day activities. A slow transition can help them gradually warm up to a new lifestyle.
  • Encourage your kids to speak up. Reminding your kids that you’re here to listen can go a long way in making them feel loved. Tell them it’s okay to feel upset or angry and that they can talk to you about anything. Instead of making every decision on your own, ask what your kids think and keep their opinions in mind.

Navigating divorce as a parent can be difficult. However, these steps can make everything a little more bearable. With honest communication, you can help your children through the pains of divorce and start a new and bright chapter in their lives.